Unexpected
by Amethyst Dragon
Summary: Sara gets a surprise visitor in San Francisco. NS, Spoilers for Goodbye and Good luck.


The sound of thunder echoed through the dark and tiny apartment. It was the middle of the afternoon, but Sara could not bring herself to get up from her couch. It was a Sunday, and there were a stack of papers on the table nearby that really needed grading, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She knew she should accomplish _something, _even if it was only cleaning up a little or taking a walk, but the motivation wasn't coming.

It had been several months since she had left Las Vegas. Since then, she had only talked to Grissom twice. The first time was soon after she got to San Francisco, mainly to let him know she was okay, she had a place to live and soon she was going to visit her mother for the first time in years. Sara knew that talking to her mother would help begin the process of making peace with her past and then, possibly, she could start thinking out her future.

It took her a month to gather the courage to go, and when she did it was not what she expected. Her mother didn't even recognize her, and she denied ever having a daughter or a son. She had been gone so long she had fallen into a state of denial and irrationality. Sara knew it wouldn't be a warm and fuzzy reunion or an easy pathway toward resolving all of her issues. Sara knew, but it still hurt, and she left the institution feeling worse than what she started.

Sara had settled fairly well back into San Francisco. Her apartment was a little cramped, but with housing in the area so expensive it was all she could afford. She found a temporary teaching position at a local college, filling in for a professor on maternity leave. She enjoyed her job and felt like she was making a difference somewhere for the first time in a while, but she still wasn't happy.

At first she thought it was because there were still many things in her life that were unresolved. She visited her childhood home for the first time since her father died. The tiny house looked as dilapidated as ever. She talked to the woman who lived there, a single mother with four children. She wanted to feel good that there were other people thriving there now and they were perfectly fine, but she couldn't. All she could see was the closet where she hid for so many years, in her mind she saw the blood on the walls and heard the screams and she felt sick. She left the house in a rush, feeling more defeated than ever.

Later on, she thought she was just lonely, and she missed Grissom. She called him for the second time, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything about her mother or going back home, she just let him know she was okay and missed him. He asked when she was coming home, and she could not answer him.

Sara knew, deep down, that missing Grissom was not her problem, and to be honest she wasn't yearning for him as much as she expected.. She had still felt this way even when she went home to him every night, and she thought getting away would solve her problems, but she wasn't so sure anymore.

Another clap of thunder rumbled through the apartment, and Sara closed her eyes. Maybe a nap would do her good, it would stop her mind from wandering.

She was nearly asleep when a knock on her door startled her. Sara sighed, thinking it was another Jehovah's witness or somebody trying to sell her a vacuum. It's not like anyone from Vegas knew where she was, and she honestly didn't have any friends in San Francisco that would actually visit her.

Sara looked through the peephole, and her mouth dropped open.

A man was standing in front of her door, dripping wet, who had the strongest resemblance to one Nicholas Stokes.

She froze, unsure of what to do. How had he figured out where she was? What should she do? Of course she couldn't leave him standing out there, but what would she say to him?

"Sara?" His voice sent pangs of guilt through her body. She had left Vegas without warning anybody, and he was her best friend. He must be furious with her, yet his voice betrayed no anger.

She took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. She looked Nick over, and they met each other's gaze.

"Nick?" She squeaked out, not meaning for her voice to sound so small.

He only laughed. "Yeah, don't sound so surprised. Are you gonna let me in, or do you have company?"

Sara rolled her eyes. "What do you think?" This caused Nick to laugh again, and she stepped out of the way as he came through the doorway.

Once he was inside the apartment, he took a quick glance around before sitting on the couch. Sara brought him towels, and was about to apologize for not having any dry clothes for him when she noticed he had a suitcase.

"Oh, you're planning on staying?" She asked, throwing a towel at his face.

"Yeah, I managed to get a few days off in a row, can you believe that? Oh, and the hotel rates around here are almost as bad as the housing, by the way. I like your place... it's very, uh, cozy."

"Thanks," Sara said. She pointed him to the bedroom where he could change, and she was contemplating whether to change out of her sweatpants when he came back and sat down on the couch next to her. He noticed the stack of papers on the coffee table, and he picked one up.

"Physics... sounds thrilling. So do you like teaching?"

"It's... different. But in a good way, I think. It's a nice change."

"Yeah... I just never pictured you as a teacher, is all."

"Why's that?"

Nick grinned. "I don't want to say it, you'll hit me."

Sara glared at him. "Tell me now, Stokes, or I'll beat you up anyway. You should know better."

He laughed, and she felt calmed by the sense of familiarity. "Alright. It's just... I never thought you could be patient enough with all the kids. That, and I could never picture you in a job where you have to be social."

Sara smacked his arm playfully, and he scoffed. "I told you."

She laughed, and they both settled into the couch and into an awkward silence. Sara knew Nick wanted more than just small-talk, and it was only a matter of time before he asked what she knew must be on his mind.

They sat and listened to the thunder and the sound of the rain pattering on the roof. Sara felt like she could almost fall asleep again when she noticed Nick staring at her from the corner of her eye. She didn't turn to look, but she noticed his eyes never left her, and it was unnerving.

She finally looked at him, and he grinned. "What's so interesting?" she asked.

Nick shrugged. "I've just missed you, is all. It's really nice to see you again."

Sara felt the guilt creeping up on her again, and she grabbed his hand. "Look, Nick, I know you all must be angry at me for leaving you like that, and... I'm sorry. I really don't know what to say, I thought about saying good-bye but... I just had to leave, you know? I had to get away and I knew you guys would try and get me to stay and then I'd never be able to bring myself to leave. I really am so, so sorry, I don't know what else to say."

She stared at their intertwined hands, too afraid to look at his reaction. They sat in silence for a minute before he spoke.

"Sara."

"Hmm?" She responded, still looking down.

"Look at me, Sar."

Sighing, she slowly looked up, and was surprised to see his eyes watering. "God, Nick, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Shh, enough apologizing," he interrupted her. "And I understand. I mean, I would have liked for you to say good-bye, but that's in the past, and what's important now is that you're doing better here, and you're happy now. You are doing better here, aren't you?" He asked.

Sara felt herself overcome with a strong urge to cry, and she hated herself for being like this. "I, uh, I don't know, honestly. Some days I do great, and others... not so much, you know? I thought getting away from Vegas would help me sort it all out, but I don't know anymore. It's been months and I still feel so... lost. Like I can't sort out where I've been and I don't know where I'm going, I'm just living day to day and... waiting for for what ever is missing, but that's hard to do when you can't even figure out what that is... God, I'm rambling, you can tell me to shut up any time you know," Sara chuckled, partially to cover her embarrassment. She rarely opened up to anyone like she was now and it made her feel ridiculous, even if Nick was one of her best friends.

"I wouldn't tell you to shut up. Besides, you need to let some of this stuff out. Have you, erm, talked to Grissom about how you've been feeling?"

Sara shook her head.

"Why?"

She started playing with a loose thread on her pants, avoiding Nick's intense gaze. She didn't want to talk about Grissom, she didn't know why, but it unnerved her. He was right, why hadn't she been able to tell him the truth? Sara felt her eyes watering, and she closed them tightly.

"Sunshine?" He said tentatively, placing his hand on her arm.

Normally she hated it when he used her middle name, and she would usually give him an angry glare or playfully smack him if within striking distance. This time, however, the way he said it made her want to cry even more. One look at his worried face was her undoing, and the tears began to fall.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," he apologized, reaching out to her. She settled herself in his lap, her face laying on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. She felt like a child, and she furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks with her hands.

"Hey, it's okay. I really didn't mean to make you upset, but I'm here if you want to talk about anything."

Sara nodded against him. She felt him run a hand through her messy hair, and she closed her eyes, letting the barely audible sound of his heartbeat lull her back to a calm state.

"Nick?" She asked when she thought her voice wouldn't waver anymore.

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong with me?"

She felt his body stiffen slightly, and he paused. "Nothing. Why would you say that?"

"Because I'm a mess. I keep lying to Grissom because he wouldn't understand, and I hate it, and he asks when I'm coming home and I can't answer him. I left him, and at first I missed him and felt bad but now I don't anymore, at all, and I hate myself. I don't understand why I can't bring myself to call him, and I don't know why I'm not rushing to go back to him when none of this is working."

"I think I know why," Nick paused, running his hand up and down her back. "Being in Vegas and doing our job just reaffirmed those feelings you had coming back, after what happened. Like any day might be your last. Most of the time good people die, the bad guys get away, and it seems like you'll never make any difference. It all seems pointless. You think that if you go away for awhile, the nightmares will leave you, but they don't. When I had all that time off after my abduction, I thought about getting away from it all too, until I realized it wouldn't help any. That, and you guys were always there to help me out so I didn't ever get too lonely. I really appreciated all that you did for me, you know. I just wish I could help make things better for you."

Sara smiled. She should have known Nick would understand what she was going through, and be there for her. "Thanks Nicky... but you must think I'm crazy, moving out here by myself like this."

"Not at all. I think you're doing the right thing. Some of those feelings might never go away, but you'll find what you're looking for, it just takes time."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't give up on it just yet. If you ever get lonely or need to talk to somebody, I'm just a phone call away."

Sara smiled again and wrapped her arms around him, holding him tighter. "I don't know how to thank you, Nick. This really means a lot to me."

"Anything for you, Sar."

Sara gave him one last squeeze before moving away from him. She scooted out of his lap and sat next to him. She noticed he kept staring at her, and she glanced at him.

"What?"

Nick just smiled this time. He slowly moved his hand toward her cheek, where he brushed away a missed tear, and his hand lingered longer than it should have.

"Did I tell you how much I've missed you?"

"Yeah. I've missed you, too. I miss all you guys." Sara grinned mischievously "So, how's everyone at the lab been doing? I feel so out of touch. Give me the gossip, Stokes. I want to hear everything."

Nick raised an eyebrow. "How old are you again? Fourteen?"

Sara smacked his arm. He glared at her, making her giggle. "Fine. But to be honest, nothing really huge has happened since you've been gone. Greg's had a couple of more failed girlfriends, and the last one apparently decided a month into their relationship that she was a lesbian."

"Ouch, poor Greg. Continue."

"Uh, okay. Lindsay got her first 'real' boyfriend a few months ago, and Catherine's been a walking time bomb ever since, she hates this boy so bad I think she's going to give herself an anxiety attack one of these days."

Sara laughed. "I can imagine. Lindsay probably has a thing for the bad boys just like her mom. Poor Catherine."

"Let's see... oh! Judy got married a month ago, to some doctor I believe. We all stopped in at the wedding, this guy is loaded so it was pretty insane. Greg got so smashed he tried putting the moves one of Judy's relatives, but it turned out to be a guy."

Sara burst out into giggles, she could just picture it. "Oh, God, you are never going to let him live that down, are you?"

"Never. And Catherine and Warrick seemed pretty cozy the whole time, they kept dancing with each other and I'm pretty sure I saw him grab her ass at one point. Then again, I had a bit to drink, but... you never know."

"Really? That's interesting." Sara paused, then her smile faded. "I feel a little bad that I missed Judy's wedding, though. She told me she was engaged and I completely forgot about it." She sighed.

"It's okay, I'm sure she understands."

"But everyone's doing okay, right?"

"They're fine. We all miss you, though. The lab's not the same without your beautiful face there every day," Nick said and took her hand.

Sara could practically feel herself blushing. "Nicky, are you coming on to me?" She laughed, thinking he was jokingly flirting with her like they always do.

She waited for him to grin, or laugh, or something to show that he was messing around with her... but he didn't. His expression was completely serious, and one look into his eyes told her that this was no joke. Sara stiffened up, shocked. He was looking at her with such intensity that it almost frightened her, and she didn't know what to do.

She knew she must have looked like an idiot, staring at him blankly. Was he saying that he liked her? He thought she was pretty? She never thought he would think that way about her. He placed his hand on her cheek and held her face gently, and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.

A million different thoughts were running through her mind, many of them telling her that this was really, really wrong. What about Grissom? Would this wreck her friendship with Nick? Did he even like her that way?

"Nick, I..."

"If you don't want this, just tell me. I'll stop." He looked at her with such love and compassion, and Sara couldn't help but feel some back. She loved Nick, sure, but as they locked gazes she felt something deep within her surface, and feelings she had buried long ago came rushing back to her in a frenzy of emotion. This was Nick, the man that had always been there for her whenever she needed him, even when Grissom couldn't be. He was the one that always dropped everything for her if she had gone through a bad day and needed someone to talk to. And now he loved her, and had tracked her down all the way to San Francisco just to spend a few days together.

In that moment, all question of right and wrong faded away and Sara knew her answer. She moved toward him slowly, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their faces were so close she could feel his breath, and since he didn't want to make the first move she was the one to close the distance.

The first kiss was soft, slow and tentative. They progressed slowly, taking the time to learn the feel and taste of each other. The tentative kisses turned more confident, then fast, and before Sara knew it he was falling back into the couch and she was falling with him. His hands were in her hair and running down her back and she grabbed onto him like a lifeline, her senses so overwhelmed that it made her head spin. It seemed that they just couldn't be close enough, and it was only lack of air that made them break apart for the first time.

Sara was still gripping Nick's shirt, breathing heavily and staring at him with wide brown eyes. Nick smiled at her, and guided her down from on top of his body to lie next to him.

"Sar, would you hit me if I told you that you're a great kisser?"

Sara giggled, placing her hand on his chest and snuggling into his side. "No, I'm flattered, actually. No one's ever said anything like that to me before."

"Seriously?" Nick asked, astonished.

"Yeah, but don't sound so surprised. You're always a gentleman anyway, you're just being nice."

"Hey," Nick said, placing his hand on her cheek and turning her to look at him. "I'm being honest. You're beautiful, and wonderful, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Ever."

Sara smiled up at him, looking as if she might get teary again. "Thank you, Nick. You're pretty amazing yourself," she added before laying her head back onto his chest.

For several minutes there was nothing but the sound of the rain and the abating thunder. Nick ran his hand through Sara's hair and she listened to his heartbeat, which was quickly lulling her into a peaceful sleep.

"Nick?" She mumbled, eyes closed.

"Hmm?" He replied, feeling just as tired. The sound of raindrops and Sara's steady breathing combined with the feel of her warm body against his was enough to make him very sleepy.

"Please stay with me tonight," she asked, her voice quiet even in the near-silence.

Nick smiled and pressed a lingering kiss on the top of her head. "Always," he replied, and he could feel her grin against his chest.

It wasn't long before Sara's breathing became more even, and Nick knew she was asleep. He knew she hardly ever slept as much as she should, and he liked that she could fall asleep with him so easily.

The sound of thunder no longer rang through the space, and the rain slowed to a quiet and even rhythm. Nick didn't know what lay ahead in their future, but he allowed himself to live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. Right now Sara was content and in his arms, and that was all he needed to know.


End file.
